I know that you're out there
not thinking of me
a reckless soul
wrapped up in self
never reflecting on the decision
of your influence
on those around you
and those you can't see
but I know the real you
and the lies you openly display
do you really want to be like that
no one ever knowing who you are
I know you feel it too
even though you try to forget
but the connection is still there
all is not lost
I can feel you returning to me
not yet but...soon
The taste upon my tongue
bitter and intoxicating
my cool white breasts rising
to meet your muscled flesh
laid stripped and raw
waiting for your descent
the blissful pleasure
of your moist tongue within me
as I writhe in pleasure
images play within my mind
like an old videotape
crackled and splintered
my back arches
as I feel you go deeper
guiding myself
deeper onto you
fill me up with your kisses
smother me
do what you need to do
to make the most of me
I want to be with you
would do anything to be with you
give up everything to be with you
you're taking over me
I want to lie next to you
give up my life just to look at you
turn myself inside out, so I'm with you
cause now you're invading me
want to breathe the air with you
reinvent myself, to keep attracting you
learn new skills, to align with you
cause you're bleeding into me
I lie awake thinking of you
will do anything to find you
just to say I'm in love with you
cause you're seeping into me
we see you out there
the beautiful people
decked out in jewellery
and the designer's wares
we see you with others like you
all looking the same
with all your fakeness
what IS it that you do?
we see you with all your things
book deals, interviews bringing in the dough
people paying just to use your face
prostituting youself for a little shopping
we see you with someone new on your arm
every other week someone new to escort you
to this premiere or other photo op
and you think that in that, there lies no harm
we see you courting the press
stood with flashing light bulbs
with your skinny legs and waist
and so unnatural breasts
do you think you're helping at all?
media forcing us to be like you
changing our desire to become inhuman too
just setting us up for one big fall
Connected?
alone, touching my skin
thinking of you
are you feeling the same
are we connected some way?
the haunting melodies
playing out in front of us
I reach my hand out to you
do you feel it too?
Missing
my bed calls
but I lie awake
waiting for you
to return once more
missing
worried about what you've seen
said and done
return to me
to speak those words
do you remember the good times
like the night we first kissed
stood in the darkness no sense of time
ensuring the opportunity wouldn't be missed
2 kids not knowing what was going on
spurred on by lust and later love
in that parking lot a seed was sown
our bodies fitting like a glove
i never felt that way any more
the rush of raw emotion and the thrill
the way your love lifted me from the floor
and in my heart the love continued to fill
the movies were completely right
it really could be this way
fireworks illuminating the sky at night
and keeping all my fears at bay
they all told us it was not to be
we didn't listen, spurred on by youth
then soon i began to see
that loneliness was going to be the root
of my ever increasing distraction
and ever longing despair
making my love open for retraction
a break with no hope of repair
dark gloom washing over me
sinking into my heart
clouds on the horizon
not looking forward
can't explain the way I feel
the anger locked up inside
I know I need to scream
but can't find my voice
so many things I need explained
but explanations give no reasons
hurt trapped in a black chasm
buried inside to keep the peace
if only I could escape
these feelings taking hold of me
but years of jaded disdain
leave me scarred and twisted
unable to see my way out
lapsing into embittered rage
at you and the world I inhabit
want to evade this destination
someone hear my screams
Seeping into my veins
the images of you
releasing the pain
always wanting too
never knowing where to turn
or who to face
your presence within me burns
ever speeding up the pace
why do I always think of you
here within my thoughts
why do I always think of you
knowing I should've fought
why do I always think of you
and the time we could've bought
why do I think of you
and the pain that I did wrought
you were the mistake I didn't make
letting you go was so wrong
the addiction I couldn't face
what I did should've seen me hung
now I realise the pain I gave
was how it was meant to be
hoping from the illness I can save
a little piece of me
a little piece of me..........
a little piece of me......
a little piece of me....................
a little piece of me........
why do I always think of you
here within my thoughts
why do I always think of you
knowing I should've fought
why do I always think of you
and the time we could've bought
why do I think of you
and the pain that I did wrought
What is it about 2 women kissing?
I mean it's such a stereotypical male fantasy so why do I find it erotic? I'm not gay I'm pretty sure of that but 2 women slipping their tongues inside each other's velvet lined mouths just sends me into raptures.
add to that the images of black silk upon fleshy white thighs held up by thinnest piece of material, I mean who wouldn't be a lesbian.
Maybe it's to do with design?
Curves are so much more attractive than harsh angles and the way a women's back arches round to her bottom is just pure design heaven.
Whoever made of us - we have a lot to be thankful for.
The way we can arch and slither to show off our curves
the way we can manipulate all so they think theirs are original thoughts
they way our body can send mixed messages
to all who want to read them
that little piece of inverted flesh between the backbones
the soft skin underneath a mass of dark hair
man I feel like a woman......
Black hole where my heart was
ripped out by your indiscretions
lonely space where love once resided
with only hate remaining
torn apart by you
ripped through the middle
frayed at the seams
all my dreams shattered
empty room in my soul
everyone wanting tears
but I cried them all so long ago
leaving me barren and dry
Just for Minion some shorts (not the kind you put on your legs you understand)
Fairness
Your face so full of laughter
and the sparkle in your eyes
the smile upon your face
the softness you can't hide
Your porcelain fair white skin
the soft lines that form a frown
the angled cheekbones in your face
your golden tousled crown
The Game
Confident stranger on a train
blue eyes and blonde mane
dressed in the smartest of suits
trying to cover up your roots
Do you really want to play the game?
with others doing the same
phone numbers given to and fro
with those you really don't want to know
Shadows
darkness is my only salvation
where I can hide in the shadows
move unnoticed and unseen
so I can observe my prey
restless my heart racing
I see you separated from the crowd
should I take my chance to strike
or will my advance be denied?
How/Why I write.......
Ok I guess I should explain about my poetry, well I hardly call it poetry as I don't know the first thing about it and verse gives it far more credit that it deserves, so lets just call it spoutings
So firstly - why? Well like I said its not like I know anything about verse and form but sometimes I just have so many feelings and thoughts that I need to get them out of my head.
Reality - Not all you see is real and that reflects in my writing, often the things that are written are not a reflection of me or even my feelings and thoughts but what I feel a character is thinking
Inspiration - I'm inspired by everything but mostly by gothic images and music, just looking at someone clad in black with darkness surrounding them makes me reflective
When - Normally at the weekend when I don't have my 'work head' on. A bottle or 2 normally helps the creative flow.
How - in a big blue book and always in pencil. I never write verse on a pc first it's always on the page because I like the curvature of my handwriting and the way the words flow into each other
Edit - I rarely edit and when I do it's just the odd word or two, I also have loads of 'shorts' just a few throwaway lines which I've never expanded
Why dark? - Because I can't write verse when I'm having happy thoughts. Those thoughts are recorded elsewhere, verse comes from the darker part of my soul
So which is the real you? - Search me, no honestly I mean it, as some of the writings allude to, I am many things and this blog is just another facet of my personality, which twists into so many shapes
Finally - so in other words, don't worry guys I'm really not the anguished and tortured soul that this blog presents me as - well not all the time!
I look at you, led there expectantly..I slip my milky fingers under the thin veil of material covering my breasts, slowly I let the fabric slip from my grasp and watch you inhale
I run my hands over my exposed breasts slowly fingering my erect nipples, slowly circling and then teasing as I watch your obvious delight
I slip my fingers into my mouth and withdraw them so I can see them glisten
I move my hands down my body, feeling my curves and lightly teasing my delicate skin
the touch and sense of my own body lingers in my thoughts
My fingers draw closer to their desired intent
rubbing intoxicatingly against my skin
then exploring, burrowing deeper, moist with my own pleasure
rhythmically finding their much practiced symphony
You can hardly bear it
watching my pleasure spread across my face but I make you wait
yes I make you wait....
The mirror always lies
not showing me in deep
this twisted reflection
of who I should be
Who am I?
I'm supposed to be responsible
but when did I grow up?
does a mortgage mean I'm an adult?
which is the real me?
the professional worker in a sterile cubicle?
the partner complete with ironing board?
the goth who forgets her dark side?
The flirt who hides a secret?
the blogger who fits the mould?
the child who doesn't want to grow up?
or the rebel who's lost her cause?
Who am I?
will I ever know
Will I like what I find?
do I want to know?
drifting by in life
filling the gaps that others want
giving myself labels so I'm easily placed
frustrated by the image I project
someone help me, show me how
let me be me
give me a life, some introspection
and maybe some peace
