Just how gorgeous is this?

Crimson

Darkness washing over me

Crimson rivers as I bleed

A moment of truthOf my deep reflection

Moment of clarity

Of pure realisation

Of my past

And my guilty obsession
My breathing labours

As my mind grows dark

My heart slows

And my pulse weakens

Life seeping out of me

Finally allowing me to breathe

To remedy my affliction

Finally lucid with myself

Finally I can lay to rest

My tortured soul at last relenting

My ruptured heart no longer distorted

At last, escape

#3

black leather on translucent skin
black silk on cobalt eyes
hard rubber on crimson lips
the distinctive smell lingers in the air

strung up and left to fend
all by yourself, in the darkness
within the walls of this tiny cell
your heart beating in your chest

what will happen to me? I hear you ask
I can see the fear in your face
the sweat running down your neck
to rest upon your harness strung breast

now the realisation not what but when
the excruciating agony of waiting for the pain
then the crack of the whip
your heightened senses making your skin prickle

then at last the blissful agony
that only I can insist on
the waiting is over, the pleasure is here
now its time to heal once more

#2

Why did you look at her and talk and gush and smile?
Why let her into your life, after all this while?
Don't you remember what she did to you, the way you hurt and cried?
The way she twisted your life and all her god damn lies

Why would you let her have a chance to see what we've become?
The way we moved on from this, all the work we've done
To put all this behind us, to forget she was ever there
The way she ripped us apart and laid us out to bare

Why did you want to cast all our efforts aside?
For the person you promised you could not abide
Are there still feelings lurking within you?
I beg of you don't make me ask you to choose

Why have you chosen to effect me like this?
I asked why you needed to see her but didn't insist
I should have been stronger and made you see sense
Instead I now lie here all nervous and tense

Why did I let you go out of the door?
Afraid and scared that we would be no more
Perhaps it's the issue of you and what's already passed
Or maybe I knew we weren't destined to last

I now realise what a fool I have been
Only concentrating on the hurt that was keen
Return to me my love and we can begin
To repair our life and what should've been

Bringing you up to date with poems so far #1

Pigeon Holes
Square peg in a circular hole
always trying to fit the mould
desperately worrying about others perceptions
about myself and my reflection

wanting to break out and show my true self
too scared to cry out and ask for help
don't want to be 'normal' anymore
I have to scratch this itch before its too sore

this feeling tearing inside of me
the aching need and want to be free
from restraint and shackles and superfluous labels
to give me a chance so that I am able

to breathe and live and show the real me
for better, for worse, for all to see
come look at me now and see what I am
still wanna be with me? I couldn't give a damn

Why oh Why

Ok well I decided to start this blog as I wanted this to become a place to discover the more darker inner workings of my mind and just didn't feel comfortable posting it as my 'other' persona. So if you've come via my other persona I would ask that you keep the information private, if you're a new reader, well I would say enjoy but not quite sure if that's really applicable. I may also use the blog to have the occasional rant about the ex (he knows about the other blog) and my non exisitent sex life, but mainly its just to get rid of some of the garbage firmly lodged in my noggin.All feedback gratefully received (but believe me I don't take my poetry that seriously) but pervy comments will be ignored/deleted.Lets see how long this lasts.....